Let’s Get Cray Cray this Memorial Day

grill

I used to live in Southern California.  And I’ll never forget the first day I heard about a new burger place coming to town that was going to feature burgers in a whole new way.

First, their burgers are made with 50% burger, 50% ground bacon.  Dramatic Pause.  Gasps ensue.

i KNOW!  Heart stopping.

That combo makes me think of Rhianna’s S&M song.  Anything that bad HAS to be so perfectly good.  http://open.spotify.com/track/1OPgEEjz5gvv2FBl0qxvrA

To make bad even better, two of their most highly featured burgers are as follows:

1)   The peanut butter and jelly burger.  Just as it sounds.  Meat, bacon, crushed nuts with a lot of sugar and jarred fruit with a lot of sugar.   Could this be anything but Uhmazing??

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And…hold your breath…

2)   The glazed donut burger.  Two glazed donuts (in my purely fantastical moments I envision these donuts as Krispy Kreme glazed) with meat and bacon smashed between.  Genius.

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While one of the true motivations of my Life is the pursuit of all things Delicious, I have no grilling skillz.  I have a man with no man skillz.  And, most inhibitingly (not a dictionary word), I have an amazing imagination.  Sometimes thinking about things (and delaying their reality) provides me with more excitement and pleasure than their actualization.

So, as mind blowing as it may be, I’ve never myself tried either one of these burgers.  Not at the actual joint.  Not on my own.   Maybe because I’m lazy.  Maybe because I’ve truly enjoyed every moment I’ve dreamed about one of these bohemoths encountering my taste buds for the first time…

Because I’ve been too weak, I plead with each of you.  Please make one of these burgers this Memorial Day.   If not for the delight of you and your family, then for the delight of me.   I know you may have a moment of shame as you contemplate the endeavor… but, folks, there’s nothing like a family holiday and doing things in the spirit of “fun” that allows one to get away with something so obviously offensive to human survival.  Now is the time.  I urge you to seize this opportunity tomorrow and go where few before you have gone before.  (I’ve verified with my local butcher that you can order a 50/50 mix of burger/bacon).

And, after you come out of your food induced coma, please, for the sake of all things holy, report back to me your findings.  Send/post pictures of the food, pictures of you eating the food and thoughts regarding whether or not this is truly The One or just a passing fling.

Until then, I wait with eager anticipation…

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